[Side Note: this mutual friend was a Mormon - which really doesn't have much to do with the story right now, but I assure you that there will be a faint callback to the subject matter for those of you that closely follow the careers of 21st Century Comic Geniuses]. Helen asked if I was free to drive all the way clear to the other BFE side of town so that I could pick her up and pay for the both of us to see "Beauty and the Beast".
After zero seconds of consideration and because this was the first time a girl had ever asked me out, I turgidly replied, Sure, Helen - what's your address so I can unfold this gargantuan map and try and figure out how to find your home? Kids, this was actually a quite common for all of humanity until just recently.Several hours later, I arrived at Helen's parents' home. She greeted me at the door. I was impressed with her style: Jelly Shoes. Those stretchy pants that strap under your feet in your shoes. An untucked, men's collared shirt - complete with tie. Giant Early 90's hair. I was actually such the Disney geek that I had managed to catch it at WDW Passholder invite sneak preview 2 weeks prior - a week before the Domestic release! Of course, I had no desire to share this information with Helen. I mean, why ruin the romanticness of our 1st Date? Anyways, Helen and I dated for a few months. It was awful and ended badly when I caught her hooking up with another dude upon a surprise visit to her home after working a graveyard shift (not at an actual graveyard). I'm absolutely not bitter whatsoever. Heck, I even ended up "trading up" and dated another friend of hers for many years after Helen and I saw "Beauty and the Beast" for the 1st (& 2nd) time together. Back to the VHS tape. Original Shrink Wrap - small hole in the shrink wrap only on the side opposite the spine (whatever they call that side of a VHS tape these days). Stored in a Climate-Controlled & Smoke Free Environment for over 30 years.
Coupon on Front For Savings at Pizza Hut. Now, it says it expired in 1993, but they never really check those things.
Thank you for the opportunity to earn your business. Tale as old as time. My teen son wants to go to law school.
THE 90'S ARE BACK, BABY! Now, if you thought the Helen Saga ended in 1992, you'd be most incorrect! In fact - this is where it really gets weird.
The year is now 2017. Helen sends me a Friend Request on Facebook. After a few weeks of silence and Likes & Loves on my stupid posts of food and kids, she sends a DM to me stating that her Mom had passed away and asks if I could call her. NOTE: What happens next will shock you.Helen proceeds to tell me that her Mom died in the ER at a local City General Hospital some 6 months prior to her reaching out to me. She goes on to paint a dramatic story of how this sweaty, gorgeous, Fabio-esque ER doctor was pounding on her chest for hours trying to resuscitate Mom. Per Helen's recollection of events, immediately after the aforementioned Doctor Sexy informed her of Mom's shuffling off the mortal coil, he told her that she was beautiful and took her out for Thai food after his shift to console her. Turns out, being a doctor wasn't her new boo's only gig; when he wasn't out saving lives and doing what he went to school a decade to accomplish, he modeled for the covers of vampire-themed romance novels. See how that dated "Fabio" reference makes more sense now?
Feeling misled and confused about Helen's intent to speak with me, I scrambled to end the conversation. I offered condolences for the loss of her Mom and congratulations for finding true love with Dr. She told me that it meant a lot to hear me say that, and she had one more thing to tell me before I hung up.
Helen says that her and her Vlad Clooney were no longer an item because she was unable to bear his children. As fate would have it, they discovered that they were actually brother and sister, separated at birth - both adopted to different parents. Apparently after 6 months of "Game of Thrones"-level incest, The Count ran some tests in the lab at work and had determined that it was medically impossible to make a baby with his blood-sister. That's when she cut me off.(not my real name)", she interrupts, "I'm not done talking. You know exactly what came next. I've loved you for 25 years!
That morning you stopped by my home and walked in on me and Webster (again, not a real name but I really loved that show) was all a misunderstanding! A piece of jewelry I borrowed from my Mom fell behind my bed and I wasn't strong enough to move it so I called a neighbor to help before Mom got home from AA because I didn't want to get in trouble!And those underwear on the floor by my bed actually belonged to my parents! I did laundry and they fell from the basket!
That was enough for me. Teres-, umm, Helen - you are talking about something that happened a quarter of a century ago.
I'm married and have kids. Your Mom was kind to me. Sorry her time on Earth came to an end. Find a place to make peace in your mind with that and don't stop until calm has arrived.
I'm going to go back to my life now, Helen. ", shouts Helen, "Well if that's how you really feel, know that I will NOT be seeing the new live-action remake of'Beauty and the Beast' with Hermione EVER because I haven't even watched the original cartoon that we saw for our first time together since we saw it together because it reminds me of YOU!!! Gräs/ noun a final blow or shot given to kill a wounded person or animal. "Helen, " I spoke calmly into my Blackberry. Helen spoke, with a renewed sparkle in her voice.Helen, I've also been waiting 25 years to tell you something. Helen, I like totally saw that movie, like, 2 weeks before Thanksgiving at Pleasure Island. Oh, and "Book of MORMON"'s Josh Gad is a 21st Century Comic Genius, so you're now you missing out on two funny fat dudes. Thanks for visiting my store. Be Excellent to Each Other. PSST, HEY BOB IGER - BRING PLEASURE ISLAND BACK!! EVERY NIGHT WAS NEW YEAR'S EVE!!! GTeffO WITH THAT DISNEY SPRINGS CLOWNSHOW!! This item is in the category "Movies & TV\VHS Tapes".
The seller is "gamesupinhere" and is located in this country: US. This item can be shipped to United States, Canada.